


We Always Wear Ugly Sweaters the Week Before Christmas

by Anonymous



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:02:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28279584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Patrick’s mom sends him a package his first Christmas in Schitt’s Creek. The Ugly Sweater she includes has a positive effect on sales.  David learns a lesson in trust.
Relationships: Jocelyn Schitt/Roland Schitt, Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17
Collections: Ugly Sweaters Group Write





	We Always Wear Ugly Sweaters the Week Before Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all don’t mind a fluffy little thing—this piece is a little like some of David’s sweaters!

Patrick looked at his phone again and sighed; a heavy, frustrated sound that meant he was either pissed off or disappointed, neither of which David had been the cause of to his knowledge—which, eight months into their relationship had to be some kind of miracle.

“What’s wrong?” David asked from across the shop.

“Oh, nothing important,” Patrick said, “I was just checking the tracking info for the box my mom sent. I was hoping it would be here this morning.”

They’d been over this at least a hundred times, but David still felt guilty that Patrick wasn’t going home for Christmas. “You know it’s not too...” he started to say when Patrick shot him a dark look.

“I know, I know,” David said holding his hands up in mock surrender, “a store’s first holiday sales can make or break it and we both need to be here to make sure things go well.” He repeated word for word Patrick’s reason for staying in Schitt’s Creek for the holidays.

Patrick chuckled and walked towards David who was already halfway across the room. They met in the middle and wrapped their arms around each other; Patrick’s around David’s waist and David’s around Patrick’s shoulders. Patrick leaned in and kissed his favorite spot on David’s neck.

“I’m just sorry you won’t get to see your parents,” David said.

“I know you are, David. And I really appreciate it, but we all have to grow up sometime right?”

David rubbed Patrick’s shoulders lightly and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. “I’ll pick up the lunch order,” David said pulling away. 

Patrick started to reach for his wallet and David waved his hand dismissively. “My treat, today.”

“You don’t have to do that, David.” They’d agreed to paying for their own lunches in an attempt to keep some separation between their business partnership and their personal relationship. 

“I know,” David said. “I’d like to.”

“Okay, but just this once.” 

David winked at him. “Just this once.”

When David got back with their lunch, he was surprised Patrick wasn’t there. “Patrick?”

“I’ll be right out.”

Patrick came out of the back room adjusting the hem of a bright green sweater with red sleeves. It had  
a flashing Christmas tree on the front.

“Wow! What’s that?” David said. “And more importantly, why is that?”

“You don’t like it?” Patrick asked as he spun around to give David the full effect. His smile was as bright as the lights on the sweater.

David tried to force his face into something slightly less disdainful. “It’s...it’s fine.” It was the best he could come up with. 

Patrick laughed. “You are such a bad liar, David.”

“I’m sorry. I was just surprised.” He waved a hand in the general direction of the sweater. “This is very far from your normal color palette is all.”

“My mom sent it.”

“Why?”

David sounded so much like Moira, Patrick couldn’t help but laugh again. 

“Because, David. We always wear Christmas sweaters the week before Christmas.”

David pulled at the neck of his own sweater, a fluffy black and white thing from some designer whose name Patrick couldn’t pronounce. “Umm. So you have more of these?”

“Relax David,” Patrick was starting to sound annoyed. “There was only one sweater in the box.”

“You sound disappointed by that.”

Patrick rolled his eyes. “Let’s eat.”

All that afternoon, David couldn’t help but watch in wonder the way people gravitated to Patrick. Jocelyn couldn’t stop talking about how amazing his sweater was and where did he get it and did they have anymore. She ended up buying three more candles than she planned because “you just never know when you might need an extra hostess gift.”

When she left, David asked Patrick “What the fuck is a hostess gift?”

Patrick shrugged his shoulders, “I’m not entirely sure, but my mom has a whole closet full of them. She takes one whenever they have dinner at someone’s house or stay over at my Aunt and Uncle’s.”

“Hmm. My mom always just takes wine or vodka.”

“I can see that,” Patrick smirked. 

When Bob came in, he practically made Patrick undress in front of him. “Is that just a normal battery pack running those lights or what?” 

Patrick was very obliging and they discovered that it was just a small LED strand run on a watch battery. “You know,” Bob said, “You’ve just given me a great idea for Gwen’s Christmas present.” He left the store with two of the hand sewn stockings they were selling for the holiday with plans to “tear them apart and string lights through them.”

“That’s a great idea Bob,” Patrick said.“Make sure to take a photo so we can see how they turn out.”

Roland stopped by and basically asked all the same things Jocelyn had asked about Patrick’s sweater. He stood around long enough that David was afraid he was never going to leave. He finally decided to buy not one but two cat hair scarves. “Joc has had her eye on these since you opened.”

“Really?” Patrick tried not to sound surprised. The concept of cat hair scarves seemed completely weird to him. 

David stepped in to save him lest Roland change his mind. “Who’s the other one for?” he asked as he bagged up both scarves. 

“Me.”

“Buying ourselves a little present, are we?” David asked.

“Yeah, Dave. You could say that. A really good present. I have a whole scene from ‘Cats’ Joc and I have been wanting to try.”

This time Patrick stepped in to save David. “Okay! Well, thanks again, Roland,” he said holding his bag and walking him to the door.

“You boys have a good Christmas,” Roland said raising the bag in salute. “I know I will,” he said winking. 

When David finally closed the door and locked it behind the last shopper a full twenty-minutes after closing, he was still reeling from the traffic and from the apparent effect Patrick’s sweater had on their afternoon sales. Everyone seemed more willing to pick up just a “little extra something.”

“Wow!” Patrick said triumphantly as he ran the print out of the day’s sales. “That was a great day!”

He showed the print out to David.

“Holy Fuck!”

Patrick nudged David with his shoulder and looked down at his flashing sweater. “Too bad my mom only sent one of these babies.”

David grimaced and put his arms around Patrick’s shoulders. “It’s the holidays, Patrick. Everybody does a little more shopping this time of year.”

Patrick shook his head and laughed. “Nope. I’m pretty sure it was the sweater.” 

“I’m pretty sure it wasn’t.”

“Wanna test that theory?”

“What?”

“How about I don’t wear this in the morning tomorrow and then I’ll put it on again in the afternoon.”

“But that’s not fair. Afternoon’s are always better,” David responded.

“Fine, I’ll wear it in the morning then. That way we can compare today’s sales to tomorrow’s.”

“And if there is no difference?” David asked.

“Then you’ll never have to see me in this sweater again,” Patrick said.

David thought about that for a minute. He’d kind of gotten used to it now and his boyfriend certainly was ridiculously cute no matter what he wore.

“But,” Patrick said with a very sharply pronounced “t”—“If the sales are better, then you have to wear a Christmas sweater of my choosing on Wednesday.”

David swallowed hard. He already knew the sales would be better in the morning tomorrow, if the sweater didn’t do the trick, he had no doubt Patrick’s competitive streak would. He was torn between his gut instinct which was to say “absolutely not” and his willingness to trust Patrick with anything and everything. 

“Well?” Patrick asked.

“Okay,” David feigned nonchalance. “Although I will say the sweater is kind of growing on me—if only because I know what lies beneath it.” He rubbed his thumbs lightly across the skin just under the neckline of Patrick’s sweater causing him to inhale sharply and lean closer to David nuzzling into his embrace and tightening his grip around David’s waist. 

David chuckled. “Later, we still have mop the floor.”

Sales the next day were significantly higher in the morning just as Patrick predicted and David knew they would be.

When they closed for the night they walked hand-in-hand to the cafe for dinner. After they sat down in a booth, David finally asked what he’d been fearing all day. “So, you know the sleeves on your sweater are going to be ridiculously short on me, right?”

Patrick reached for his hands. “Oh, you’re not wearing my sweater, David. Stevie picked yours up for me in Elmdale today.”

“What?!” David’s voice raised in panic and pulled his hands back sharply. “Stevie picked out the sweater I have to wear?”

Patrick had a hard time biting back a grin as he tried to decide if he should let David think that all evening or if he should clarify. His true nature took over and he said, “I said she picked it up, not picked it out. I ordered it online last night.”

“Oh, thank God!” David said. He couldn’t even imagine what sort of atrocity Stevie would have chosen—probably some horrible poly-synthetic blend thing with God only knows what on the front. Probably a sumo-wrestling Santa and Elf or something equally ghastly.

“Just breathe, David. It’s going to be fine.”

The next morning, Wednesday, dawned cold and bright. It was Christmas Eve and David’s dad had suddenly decided to throw a party at the last minute. David was in a foul mood because of it and the idea of having to wear an ugly Christmas sweater, even if it was going to be good for sales, was making him nauseous. It didn’t help that Stevie had sent him a photo just before he fell asleep the previous night. It was of an ugly Christmas sweater with a very white Jesus smoking a joint. He was surrounded by a wreath of marijuana leaves. David knew Patrick wouldn’t be that cruel, but Stevie, well, Stevie couldn’t be trusted.

Patrick must have thought the same thing because when David got out of the shower, Patrick was sitting on his bed with a sweater box in his hands. 

“As much as I’d like to stay to watch you put this on,” Patrick said glancing at his watch, “one of us needs to actually be at the store on time.”

Patrick glanced hesitantly at the box. “I hope you like it.”

David cleared his throat and tried to read Patrick’s face for any signs that he was being a troll. There weren’t any. David felt something bubbling up inside him, and before he could stop himself the words, “I’m sure I will. I trust you,” came tumbling out of his mouth.

Patrick looked momentarily surprised but then a radiant smile lit up his face. “I’ll see you at the store.”

The minute Patrick closed the door, David took a deep breath and pulled the top off the box. He opened the tissue paper and gasped when he saw the sweater. He lifted it out of the box and watched as the thin silver stripes caught the light. He knew it wasn’t YSL—Patrick would never spend that much on a sweater—but it was a hell of a knock-off. 

He carefully pulled the soft black fabric over his head luxuriating in the feel of it against his skin. He pulled the hem over the expanse of his chest and abs. The sweater fit perfectly—it was a slimmer cut than he usually wore, but he loved it. When he looked in the mirror, he had to swallow a small lump in his throat. Patrick had somehow found a sweater that was both festive and true to David’s aesthetic.

Patrick’s eyes lit up when David walked into the store and slid off his coat. “Is it okay?”

David flashed him his trademark half-smile, half-smirk that made Patrick’s knees feel like jelly. 

“It’s MORE than okay. I love it. Thank you for not making me look foolish, Patrick.” And with that he leaned in and gave Patrick a lingering kiss that earned them both cheers and whistles from the handful of customers lucky enough to be there to celebrate the town’s favorite couple.


End file.
